anime_irl
my edit
It's been a while since I posted. I started to just throw myself into work 20 hrs a day just to get away from all these thoughts and feelings. I knew I couldn't escape. I started to just get mad about small things to avoid the constant feeling burning in my mind. I miss the feeling of the cold blade against my skin, Ive been clean for 2 months and it feel like it is for nothing. I'm not doing this for myself and no one else cares about me so why am I still here? My medical problems have been increasing and now I find myself why even bother seeing a doctor when I could just,
Let go
I got invited to a birthday party a week ago and I was kind of excited for it. I went but it seems everyone just made me the butt of the joke. I hate the fact that I'm just some silly joke to these people I once called my friends. I hate the fact people walk on me and talk down to me as if I'm a child. As if I don't understand anything. I hate how people really just don't care. They say they do but I know now this was all some kind of game to them. I hate how I can put in the fakest smile and not even one person stops for a second to care anymore. It sucks when you realise just how little people care for you, just how little you really are in someones life. I'm just another person walking by you on the street. I'm just another used to be to you, too everyone.
I'm just so alone…
